My Product Review

I am sure you have all encountered products that are somewhat less than advertised. Below is my letter of appreciation I sent today to the maker of just such a product. In my original letter all the “shxxxy” text did not have the x’s ( you can guess what the x’s represent – no ,it was not “shoddy” ) but did have a strike through.
Obviously I have xxx’ed out any reference to the real company and thier products.

Hello,
I am writing to tell you what a shxxxy lousy product line you have, although given the ill-conceived nature of your tools and accessories, I am quite certain you have heard this before. In fact, you probably get emails and phone calls of this nature on a daily basis. But please bear with me as I am in need of some serious therapy (stress release) after my encounter with your shxxxy half- baked xxxx xxxxx.

I must take part of the blame here myself though for being so gullible. I first owned one of your xxxxxxxx years ago, which I had purchased used. It was not such a great xxxxxxxx, but the hype around it was such that I was convinced that the problem was a matter of simple adjustment, that I (for some unknown reason) was not able to achieve. In an act of desperation (in an effort to make a bad product good) I was sucked into purchasing your xxxxxxxx accessory. The retro-fit to my specific model was poorly thought out (in retrospect I believe it was simply not given any forethought whatsoever!)

Now fast forward to about a year ago. My shxxxy crummy xxxxxxxx was dying a horrible death and I needed to buy a new one on a limited budget. One thing your company does well is advertising and hype. As you most certainly know, good advertising and hype can, and often trumps inferior merchandise – your company is the ultimate testament to this!
So dumb me bought another one of your xxxxxxxx. I must admit the new xxxxxxxx worked better than the dead one and it performed OK with the exception of a few little bothersome details, like the fact that your xxxxxxxx accessory did not work much better on the new xxxxxxxx than they did on the old one – I had incorrectly thought there would be an improvement in this regard since this was not a retro-fit situation.

Now here comes the part where I must admit to incredible gullibility. After my experience with your products I should have known better. Last week I bought your shxxxy stupid xxxxxx accessory. The manual is appalling and the video about the same. I would never consider submitting a manuscript for a book or magazine article (I have done a fair amount of writing) that was this pathetic.
I have wrestled with your shxxxy damn xxxxxxxx accessory for way too many hours trying to set it up properly. It may have been a good idea in the beginning, but was obviously not well thought out (that’s being very kind).

Thanks to you I have found my life’s second calling. In the future, I will do my very best (and go way out of my way) to tell my students and anyone who will listen (as well as any captive audience I come upon) what a shxxxy crappy product line you have.

Sincerely,
Darrell Peart

Addendum:
After way too many hours I was able to get the offending accessory to work. A big part of the solution was solved with a trip to the hardware store to replace some small parts that were inappropriate to the intended use and /or cheaply made.
This entire experience was actually a long term plus for me (did not seem that way in the midst of it though). It forced me to really think through what I was doing in minute detail. In the process of ruling out the many variables, I now understand fully how the tool is supposed to work (and a few things I would have changed on it).  But most of all I have a more thorough understanding of the specific process I was attempting to perform.